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Want to talk about death, dying and navigating transitions? Come chat with me (please)
Want to talk about death, dying and navigating transitions? Come chat with me (please)
by Kit Larkin -
Number of replies: 11
Hi everyone,
Over this last year (okay, or 5, like many of us since the pandemic) I've been navigating some monumental transitions in my work, personal life, and identity, which has always lain somewhere between analytical data-driven ecologist and a pattern-seeking, storytelling bleeding heart lover of things alive and sensuous.
After working through Cheryl's Ideation process Skills Assessment, what emerged was quite eye-opening. AI dubbed my new path as "Death Ecologist: Pattern Analysis & Land-Based Practice", which somehow has managed to somewhat succinctly package my background and experience as farmer, ecologist, and caregiver; my interdisciplinary research, data analysis and interpretation skills; and lived intersections with deaths of so (too) many kinds, from humans I knew to humans I tended, animals from livestock to pets to wild, and the ongoing collapse of the biosphere.
Some of the skills/offers that came up were the following:
- Analyze death/trauma data and publish findings
- Study interspecies approaches to death and grief, e.g. horses, elephants, cetaceans
- Guide wilderness-based death planning retreats
- Consult on ecological body disposition
- Develop trauma-informed frameworks for end-of-life care
- Create remote site protocols for death work
I'm curious, and wanting to converse and learn from those in this space... what does any of this spark for you?
Would you be interested in joining me in the Community Hub for a live chat about this with others, or a private call (not selling anything, promise!) to talk about something personal you might not be up for sharing more widely?
Please let me know. The synchronicities in the last 24 hrs on this one have been rather wild (thanks to Deana and Rachel for the wonderful eye-opening and heart-centred convo this morning) so I'm feeling really ready to explore this further.
In reply to Kit Larkin
Re: Want to talk about death, dying and navigating transitions? Come chat with me (please)
by Sarah Wayte -
I am incredibly opinionated when it comes to death. Which is probably a weird thing to say but I'll elaborate. My background is in emergency medicine. I was a paramedic and health professional for almost 20 years in which time I dealt with a lot of death and dying. Everything from trying to prevent it to facilitating a pain-free end and everything in between. I talk about death a lot, I'm writing a novel about it, and my feelings do lie mostly in the pragmatic "we're all going to die" area. I believe in being able to have a "good death" and being able to take ownership of your death, if you have the privilege to know it's coming. I also believe in having open and clear conversations not only about death but what your wishes are after you die. It's a conversation I've had with both of my elderly parents and we've put things in place based on those chats. It's not morbid, it's important. I firmly believe that.
Too many people skirt around the subject or avoid it entirely and it leads to heartbreaking experiences from what I've seen over the years.
I'm not sure if that's the kind of thing you're wanting to talk about but if it sounds like it is, then I'm always up for a chat about it.
Too many people skirt around the subject or avoid it entirely and it leads to heartbreaking experiences from what I've seen over the years.
I'm not sure if that's the kind of thing you're wanting to talk about but if it sounds like it is, then I'm always up for a chat about it.
In reply to Sarah Wayte
Re: Want to talk about death, dying and navigating transitions? Come chat with me (please)
by Kit Larkin -
Hi Sarah!
This gave me that little hairs-on-the-back-of-my-neck feeling. Yes, this is exactly the kind of thing I want to be talking about.
I spent so much time reassuring my elderly mother-in-law in her last months that dying wasn't going to be scary or painful (I mean, I was hoping, but she was 96 and pretty sure she'd pass in her sleep). I told her about how my own grandmother had passed -- one minute she was breathing, and then she exhaled, and just kind of "forgot" to inhale again. It abated the fear somewhat but it was so heartbreaking that someone can live almost a century, know that death is on the horizon, and be so terrified and unknowledgeable about. Also, what a loss! In so many ways I look forward to that next journey, understanding what the transition looks like, much like experiencing birth.
I have taken life intentionally, and also held it in my hands while it passed on its own. I feel in so many ways blessed to have had this wide range of death-related experiences, and to be in a state where I am not fearful about it. I think that being able to "own your own death" is a kind of sovereignty that doesn't get addressed enough, at all.
I especially love that you're speaking/coming from a medical background. There is the metaphysical sense of death, and the real "what actually happens" and how it feels, what the logistics and realities are, and that is so much more my area of interest. So yes, I'd love to talk.
I'm going to give this a week or so and then set up a time in the Community Hub to chat. Feel free to DM or email me at kitlarkin1080@gmail.com if you want to go further on this than in the forum. Thanks for responding!
This gave me that little hairs-on-the-back-of-my-neck feeling. Yes, this is exactly the kind of thing I want to be talking about.
I spent so much time reassuring my elderly mother-in-law in her last months that dying wasn't going to be scary or painful (I mean, I was hoping, but she was 96 and pretty sure she'd pass in her sleep). I told her about how my own grandmother had passed -- one minute she was breathing, and then she exhaled, and just kind of "forgot" to inhale again. It abated the fear somewhat but it was so heartbreaking that someone can live almost a century, know that death is on the horizon, and be so terrified and unknowledgeable about. Also, what a loss! In so many ways I look forward to that next journey, understanding what the transition looks like, much like experiencing birth.
I have taken life intentionally, and also held it in my hands while it passed on its own. I feel in so many ways blessed to have had this wide range of death-related experiences, and to be in a state where I am not fearful about it. I think that being able to "own your own death" is a kind of sovereignty that doesn't get addressed enough, at all.
I especially love that you're speaking/coming from a medical background. There is the metaphysical sense of death, and the real "what actually happens" and how it feels, what the logistics and realities are, and that is so much more my area of interest. So yes, I'd love to talk.
I'm going to give this a week or so and then set up a time in the Community Hub to chat. Feel free to DM or email me at kitlarkin1080@gmail.com if you want to go further on this than in the forum. Thanks for responding!
In reply to Kit Larkin
Re: Want to talk about death, dying and navigating transitions? Come chat with me (please)
by Sarah Wayte -
No problem at all! I'll wait to hear about the chat 
In reply to Kit Larkin
Re: Want to talk about death, dying and navigating transitions? Come chat with me (please)
by Aisling Wright -
I may or may not be a good option for you in your research, but I realized recently that I am so scared of death because I don't know how to grieve, or what to even think about the whole process without having major anxiety. Maybe I could give you some perspective from that place? Maybe helping people know what they need to know about death could really help us. I'd like to chat.
In reply to Aisling Wright
Re: Want to talk about death, dying and navigating transitions? Come chat with me (please)
by Kit Larkin -
Absolutely Aisling! I'd love to hear your take on things, maybe explore where those fears come from, and what your experiences have been (and what might help). I'll round up a call next week.
In reply to Kit Larkin
Re: Want to talk about death, dying and navigating transitions? Come chat with me (please)
by Beth Gemmell -
I'd love to join in the conversation! I'm the Estate Planning Medium so this conversation would be right up my alley.
I've always had energetic gifts, but it started to become a bit more obvious when I heard my uncle sing the harmonies for Ave Marie - at his own funeral. I had been honing my skills as a medium when I realized that I couldn't do patent law anymore. So after volunteering to help with estate planning my entire career, I decided to transition to the estate planning realm.
I'm really trying to expand the conversation around planning both for the tangible assets as well as the energetic assets (because those get passed on to the lineage too). And to bring that to people in a trauma informed way so that they can create peace of mind, not a mess that opens all the wounds.
I've always had energetic gifts, but it started to become a bit more obvious when I heard my uncle sing the harmonies for Ave Marie - at his own funeral. I had been honing my skills as a medium when I realized that I couldn't do patent law anymore. So after volunteering to help with estate planning my entire career, I decided to transition to the estate planning realm.
I'm really trying to expand the conversation around planning both for the tangible assets as well as the energetic assets (because those get passed on to the lineage too). And to bring that to people in a trauma informed way so that they can create peace of mind, not a mess that opens all the wounds.
In reply to Beth Gemmell
Re: Want to talk about death, dying and navigating transitions? Come chat with me (please)
by Kit Larkin -
Aye aye aye Beth, this sounds... incredible. I'd *really* love to hear your thoughts on intergenerational work and healing, alongside this estate planning piece. That's fascinating. Thanks for dropping in on the chat!
In reply to Kit Larkin
Re: Want to talk about death, dying and navigating transitions? Come chat with me (please)
by Kat Decina -
Hey Kit, I'm Kat. Let's chat. I'd love to talk to you about your work and the cross-overs with my own lived experiences and work as a growth consultant.
In reply to Kat Decina
Re: Want to talk about death, dying and navigating transitions? Come chat with me (please)
by Deana Tanner -
Hehe. Kit and Kat. This tickles me so much. Especially because my cat's name is KitKat. 🤣
In reply to Deana Tanner
Re: Want to talk about death, dying and navigating transitions? Come chat with me (please)
by Kit Larkin -
Tee hee. Me too. Especially because it's my chosen name (my birth name if you don't know me elsewhere @Kat Decina is Susan Cousineau, which all my former/professional stuff is under until I figure out *waves hands* all this) and I *would* have gone with Kat Larkin, which I like better, but one of my besties is Kat, so.... it was not such a great idea.
Also, yes, let's connect. This conversation has been sitting and stewing for far too long (my "Death Convos" page in Notion is now going on 3 years old!!!)
Also, yes, let's connect. This conversation has been sitting and stewing for far too long (my "Death Convos" page in Notion is now going on 3 years old!!!)
In reply to Kit Larkin
Re: Want to talk about death, dying and navigating transitions? Come chat with me (please)
by Ilene Klang -
Hi Kit. For some reason I'm just seeing your post today. I've had a lot of death to deal with over the last few years. One was very traumatic and took a long time to grieve and find myself again. I occasionally talk about it now and am interested in whatever you're doing.